Mediation Monday: 3 Steps to Resolving Conflict Within Your Family
Family conflicts are unavoidable. From small conflicts, like who’s turn it is to do the dishes, to complex issues like custody battles, we’ve all faced a diverse set of conflicts with our family members.
How do we resolve these conflicts in an appropriate way? According to Psychology.com, there are three steps to take:
1) Consider your own perspective
“This step requires you to achieve a higher degree of self-awareness. You do so by asking yourself what’s really bothering you.
What pain are you trying to avoid? What are you protecting yourself from? Through the emotions and the behaviour, you are displaying, what needs are you trying to satisfy?”
Self-reflect in your own personal struggles and conflicts to get to the root of your issue so that you are able to defend and express your point of view clearly. As a result, you can work with the others involved to find solutions which can help resolve the true conflict at hand, and not just the surface-level problem.
2) Consider the other’s perspective
“This step is fundamental. It requires you to have empathy and through empathy to widen your understanding of what’s really going on.
Put yourself in the shoes of the other. For a moment, suspend your own judgment and do your best to see the situation you’re confronting from the perspective of the other.”
If you are able to comprehend where they are coming from, even if you don’t necessarily agree, “you can have a better understanding of the issue at hand and the ways in which you can resolve it.”
3) Consider the third parties perspective
“Often, someone from the outside can give us a fresh perspective about a problem you are trying to resolve.
In this step, you put yourself in the position of a third party observing the situation you are involved in.”
Try to be objective as possible when analyzing the situation, and do not allow your emotions to take over you.
Ask an actual third-party observer for help. Check out our mediation services to learn more.
“Providing three different lenses, the Perspective Triangle Strategy allows you to get necessary emotional detachment, to gain valuable insights, and to have a broader and deeper understanding of the conflict. It allows you to shift from a victim position to a leadership position. By making you stronger, it empowers you” to resolve the issue in an efficient, considerate manner.
While conflict cannot be avoided, the manner in which we resolve and deal with it can be improved.
Source:
